Chapter 8
So I needed a little while to get my happyness goals set in motion by developing habits to achieve them. So far I am on my second week of creating a structure of exercise where I work out 25 min/day. The first week that goal landed me 5 days of exercise! I don't think I've ever willingly worked out 5 days in any one week. This is week 2, and the structure so far has gotten me 4 days of exercise, and I have two more days in the week; I missed Monday. This has made me a little happier in that I know I am taking responsibility for exercise and pushing myself to make it routine. When I make it a choice, it won't happen. This is what I have found works for me. Your own goals may need different structure than what I have set up for myself.
This chapter is mainly about family. This month Shawn and I produced our first issue of our first newsletter, called The Padula Post. It was one of my goals to keep our families updated with our lives and include them in our family circle. The updates are on what is going on career-wise in our lives, our goals, and how the kids are doing. Shawn even has a section called "The Man Cave" where he talks sports and other man stuff. We also have a "Hot Topics" section where we list the most common debates we have (regarding paying down debt, owning a home vs. renting, the best places to live and raise a family). And we also have a small box with info on how to catch up with us online through Facebook, Skype, and Twitter. I would say we opened ourselves up quite a bit from how private we usually are. I mailed the newsletters and family pictures yesterday, so hopefully our family members will be thrilled to get our packages in the mail. And I have done something really meaningful for our family.
Along the lines of family are my goals of raising the standards of parenthood. There are so many resources available nowadays regarding raising children, changing the norms of hand-me-down parenting, and how to maneuver through challenges from strong-willed toddlers to uncommunicative teenagers. Hallelujah! My friend Jennifer recently let me borrow a book called, "How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!" It's all about demonstrating proper behavior that your child will imitate and show back to you. Behavior is learned, and children learn by copying! So think about what your yelling, screaming, cursing, hitting, loss of temper, rudeness to strangers, and gossiping is teaching their little eyes, mouths, and ears to do! Every parent should have some type of resources in their physical or online library. There's no excuse not to!
A couple nights ago, in an effort to challenge our abilities to put aside our usual grown-up activities to find things to do with our kids, we played Toy Story Memory with Kristian. We quickly learned that he really needed to learn how to share and take turns. How better to demonstrate this by being patient and showing him that in games and in play, we have rules and limits,and everyone gets a chance. Unfortunately, 15 minutes into the game we had to put it away because he wouldn't stop screaming because he was frustrated that he could only turn over 2 cards at a time and had to wait two more turns to go again, in which amount of time he had forgotten where he saw a potential match. We told him we would try again the next night, but I actually had a great idea from my therapist to try coloring as a type of bonding activity. All four of us sat down with sheets and markers/crayons/colored pencils in hand, and worked for about 10 minutes. Ten minutes because Kendall wouldn't start eating the crayons, and I went off in search of something else to keep her occupied. She played with a puzzle, which in turn led Kristian to want a puzzle, and eventually we sat down to read (Dad was still coloring!). All in all, the 20 minutes we vowed to spend as a family was more than fulfilled, we stepped outside of our "Let them watch cartoons and play with toys" norm, and I felt like a better mom. Check for two days of progress out of thousands left with them!
All in all, striving to make myself more accessible as a parent and as a daughter/sister/niece/granddaughter, etc. has made me feel more value for family. Families will go through peaks and ruts, just like any relationship. But we have to do our part if we choose to be connected. There are few things in life that have real meaning, real nurturing power for our growth of character and spirituality. Family is one of those inherent gifts that we either use or misuse for advancement. Everyone must belong somewhere and to someone(s). But we all must work together for cohesiveness. Give and don't expect. It is more fulfilling to give more than to expect more. I'm learning. Slowly :)
So I needed a little while to get my happyness goals set in motion by developing habits to achieve them. So far I am on my second week of creating a structure of exercise where I work out 25 min/day. The first week that goal landed me 5 days of exercise! I don't think I've ever willingly worked out 5 days in any one week. This is week 2, and the structure so far has gotten me 4 days of exercise, and I have two more days in the week; I missed Monday. This has made me a little happier in that I know I am taking responsibility for exercise and pushing myself to make it routine. When I make it a choice, it won't happen. This is what I have found works for me. Your own goals may need different structure than what I have set up for myself.
This chapter is mainly about family. This month Shawn and I produced our first issue of our first newsletter, called The Padula Post. It was one of my goals to keep our families updated with our lives and include them in our family circle. The updates are on what is going on career-wise in our lives, our goals, and how the kids are doing. Shawn even has a section called "The Man Cave" where he talks sports and other man stuff. We also have a "Hot Topics" section where we list the most common debates we have (regarding paying down debt, owning a home vs. renting, the best places to live and raise a family). And we also have a small box with info on how to catch up with us online through Facebook, Skype, and Twitter. I would say we opened ourselves up quite a bit from how private we usually are. I mailed the newsletters and family pictures yesterday, so hopefully our family members will be thrilled to get our packages in the mail. And I have done something really meaningful for our family.
Along the lines of family are my goals of raising the standards of parenthood. There are so many resources available nowadays regarding raising children, changing the norms of hand-me-down parenting, and how to maneuver through challenges from strong-willed toddlers to uncommunicative teenagers. Hallelujah! My friend Jennifer recently let me borrow a book called, "How to Behave So Your Children Will, Too!" It's all about demonstrating proper behavior that your child will imitate and show back to you. Behavior is learned, and children learn by copying! So think about what your yelling, screaming, cursing, hitting, loss of temper, rudeness to strangers, and gossiping is teaching their little eyes, mouths, and ears to do! Every parent should have some type of resources in their physical or online library. There's no excuse not to!
A couple nights ago, in an effort to challenge our abilities to put aside our usual grown-up activities to find things to do with our kids, we played Toy Story Memory with Kristian. We quickly learned that he really needed to learn how to share and take turns. How better to demonstrate this by being patient and showing him that in games and in play, we have rules and limits,and everyone gets a chance. Unfortunately, 15 minutes into the game we had to put it away because he wouldn't stop screaming because he was frustrated that he could only turn over 2 cards at a time and had to wait two more turns to go again, in which amount of time he had forgotten where he saw a potential match. We told him we would try again the next night, but I actually had a great idea from my therapist to try coloring as a type of bonding activity. All four of us sat down with sheets and markers/crayons/colored pencils in hand, and worked for about 10 minutes. Ten minutes because Kendall wouldn't start eating the crayons, and I went off in search of something else to keep her occupied. She played with a puzzle, which in turn led Kristian to want a puzzle, and eventually we sat down to read (Dad was still coloring!). All in all, the 20 minutes we vowed to spend as a family was more than fulfilled, we stepped outside of our "Let them watch cartoons and play with toys" norm, and I felt like a better mom. Check for two days of progress out of thousands left with them!
All in all, striving to make myself more accessible as a parent and as a daughter/sister/niece/granddaughter, etc. has made me feel more value for family. Families will go through peaks and ruts, just like any relationship. But we have to do our part if we choose to be connected. There are few things in life that have real meaning, real nurturing power for our growth of character and spirituality. Family is one of those inherent gifts that we either use or misuse for advancement. Everyone must belong somewhere and to someone(s). But we all must work together for cohesiveness. Give and don't expect. It is more fulfilling to give more than to expect more. I'm learning. Slowly :)
I enjoyed this blog very much. I am proud of you and believe you desire the best for yourself and your family. A friend shared this comment in Facebook with me a couple of weeks ago and I look at it daily. "You can let your mountains move your faith or you can let your faith move your mountains !"
ReplyDeleteLove ya,
Godmom