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Showing posts from 2014

Celebrating the Beauty of Breastfeeding in Pictures

Last year, I asked a photographer friend of mine to take some photos of my son and I, who was still breastfeeding to celebrate a year of breastfeeding and also to follow up after having a picture of my pregnancy with that same son entered into an  art exhibit by an artist friend who had painted a portrait of me after giving her a picture my husband had taken. I find in this society the beauty of how the woman's body was created to grow a child, give birth, and nurture and nourish the baby is vastly underplayed. I wanted to capture that beauty and celebrate it. This year, to celebrate World Breastfeeding Week from August 1-7, I contacted that same photographer who agreed to do another shoot for me, with the same son and my infant. My son Kendrick is tandem nursing, meaning nursing at the same time as or together with his baby brother. I never knew about tandem nursing before seeing it on Instagram and reading about it on Facebook breastfeeding support group forums

Open-Ended Questions

I created this space as a space to detach from the scrutiny of social media and to dissolve a little bit into the vast anonymity that is the Internet. Here, everyone writes, even things that aren't true, and everyone reads and discards continuously what they don't want to take in. This space was for me to have a journal of honest growth in the areas of my life, but I haven't been very honest for the past year of my life. For that I am sorry. Why haven't I been honest? In part, of fear. Okay, cut the crap, 99.9% out of fear. Fear of losing the respect of others, fear of what others would think about my put-together outward appearance. If others knew there were times I had doubts about my life, my personality, my marriage relationship, my family size, certainly they would see me as unstable and questionable and maybe two-faced. And that would be terrible, since I want nothing more than to be taken seriously. But part of those fear-driven secrets are just that...create

The Answer is Love

I feel like I keep writing the same thing over and over again, possibly because I'm thinking the same things over and over again. The same thoughts and questions about existence, God, spirituality, raising children, being a good partner, what to expect from my partner, how to resist being unhealthy in mind and body...these thoughts pervade my mind constantly, and I never know if I find acceptable answers to them, or find peace about them. Take the first three for example: If everyone has a thought about What Is, about Who Is, and about inevitable death and the afterlife, the question remains as to who is right? But my question has been, does it really matter who is right? We all end up at Death's door in the end, and we will all have to pass from this life to another, where we don't really know what will happen from experience. After our spirit passes, we will all find out one way or another, but we won't be able to share that with those who are still on this side of

Fighting for Dignity in a Country with an Anti-Public Breastfeeding Culture

I am writing this subjectively, which is good, because it shows just how much a woman can be shaken to her core when her womanhood is questioned, threatened, demoralized, and abused by other woman because of exercising her right to physically breastfeed in public...without a cover. Let me begin by getting out all of the things that have been freely said to me as I voiced my questions to the common social mores of today regarding this highly-uneducated area of sensitivity. "Women have a responsibility to stay modest while they breastfeed." "I'm all for public breastfeeding, but I don't want to see your breasts." "It's fine, but she shouldn't let it all hang out." "That's what blankets are for" (from a gay man). "That's private." "You will cause men to lust" "How would you feel if a woman just walked up to your husband and exposed herself to him?" These are all generalized statements

A Hope

But what good Is a dream But to tear down A wall of finite Stability But what good Does a faith That no one else Sees As a stronghold Where you need to huddle upon being shaken Why does a vision Exist abundantly When the feelings Of pursuance Feel close to Imminent Death For what do we Live If we can't have Assurance That hopes and dreams Are more than myths Why should we dream Why should we have faith Why should we envision Why should we LIVE If not for hope

I Can't

I wonder why It takes so long To figure out If you are New I never doubted Years before You were an anchor The only, True I wonder if Now is the time To ask my heart To get In line But the only Deep regret Is what we missed Were some Good times I really wonder It it's true Because I can't Find if It's you

The Only

If I say it outright It won't be right It won't sound right It won't feel right It won't see right It won't act right It won't heal right It won't hurt right It won't Make A Difference. I wish I could see I'm not The Only but I Still Matter and Make a Difference Like an Only is Forever Seared

The Fourth Time

It took me four times To be the mom I knew was inside Of me It took me four times To learn to open The closure I forced For it was incomplete It took me four times To learn that I am Not always Correct It took me four times to understand The wound I had forgotten Was yet wet It took me four times To apologize to My inner love For her angst It took me four times To consider if Now was the right time To lend more trust It took me four times To see that I was still Holding lots of me Inside of me It took four times To realize My teachers Were all My mini Me's. It took me four times To truly love Like I used to Openly. And I've still Got souls To Live For, Four.

Divided

I can feel a divide Between our hearts That I know should exist but can't Find It's parts There should be a bridge Somewhere close by That holds the planks I need to walk to Your side I thought there was a truth One I knew for sure But all of you are blended And whirl by in a blur It's necessary at most That I keep these parts Because even though Snarled My keys fit Your locks I feel a divide That I just can't shake The beauty of this life The glue It makes By Monica Padula

To be honest...

I will be completely honest. So many people are attacked for their transparency, or as others may less sensitively call it, "telling all their business." I laugh at this because privacy is considered a virtue nowadays. Privacy about sexual relationships, about breastfeeding, about fights in marriage, about disagreements between family members. What does privacy really help if we are being honest? What creates more discomfort and more awkwardness and more fuel for change but to be confronted in a not-so-private way? At the same time, what causes more vulnerability, more lowering of our shields that yield us powerless where we most need safety and security, in our hearts? So as I said, I will be completely honest because I am at peace with where I am in my life. I don't find shame in the normal shaming society finds to be necessary, but I do find a yearning to confront and call out why we feel it is ok to provoke shameful feelings in others undeservedly because they are d

Educational Corner: Responsible Treatment for Earaches

This is a continuation of the first post, Earaches, infections, and pain . The source of the information discussed is from the amazing book, How To Raise a Healthy Child...in Spite of Your Doctor. One thing I have to ask as a parent is, why is it that something as simple and common as a fever, a headache, an earache, a stomachache, or a cough or nose drainage is seen as a mini-emergency when it comes to children? Adults rarely run to the doctor for every little tiny inconvenience they feel in their body, but we are somehow subconsciously trained and shamed into doing what is "best" for our children by always "making sure" they are okay, and the only acceptable way to do this is by employing a doctor's help and advice, even if it goes against what we feel comfortable accepting by way of medication and other treatments. This book goes over all of those aforementioned discomforts and dissects many common causes and the common treatments given by pediatricians, and

Educational Corner: Earaches, infections, and pain

This Educational Corner is all about the ear. I have never had acute ear pain, but this past winter my son supposedly had an "ear infection," one of the most misdiagnosed and overtreated of all childhood illnesses according to my current read, "How to Raise a Healthy Child...in Spite of Your Doctor." As soon as I heard this diagnosis, I took to my usual stance, perusing the Internet for natural healing methods and more information, being leery of the drops and oral meds prescribed for the conjoining "strep throat" he was diagnosed with (more than once). I felt uncomfortable giving antibiotics not knowing how or why my son had concurred such an earache. I didn't want him to be in pain, so I wanted to do something. Not doing anything made me feel guilty, like I didn't care. That was absolutely not the case. I only wish I had had access to this text then! I will now give and explain five important points about earaches and pain. Ear pain is usua

Educational Corner: Milk does a body good?

I am beginning a series on educational awareness for topics that really are not common knowledge. I will use a 5-point system from at least one outside source. Why 5 points? Otherwise I'll blab forever. Why one source? I like to write scholarly pieces, but being a busy dreaming mom doesn't allow for a lot of time for research, notetaking, and formulating a rough draft and all the other extras and niceties that go along with scholarly works. So I came up with a way to meet myself in the middle. While raising awareness and questioning certain topics can rouse up a heated debate on Facebook or Instagram, writing in your own safe place curbs that just a bit. So really take some time and think and ponder on the content and decide for yourself if you will follow up with your own research and studying. Everyone knows the milk is a great source of calcium, As children, we have been told that milk "does a body good," grows strong teeth and bones, and is an essential part of

Time's a'Blazin'

Oh my gosh. This post is going to be in rant style. I'm cradling my baby in my lap. He is now 9.5 weeks old. And I may get 20-30 minutes of "free time" when he decides to take a long nap. A long nap is any napping done outside of my arms. He insists on my arms. Or my nipple. Either of those keeps him happy. If I remove him from either of those things in any way, he screams like a tiny pterodactyl. If I worked outside of the home I would want to shoot my foot off. It's impossible for me to listen to his tiny shrieks without scooping him up to calm him. I have let him fuss for a few minutes to grab a quick shower, brush my teeth, and tend to grooming aka makeup and hair for maybe 10 minutes. He is a stubborn little fellow...he knows what he wants. I think the rest of the world calls it "spoiled." I don't believe in spoiling especially at this age, but it sure is something. I'm sure people wonder how I manage to take even mediocre care of my housewo

Keeping up with the P's

A catch-up blog is necessary once in a while. Something that regroups and reconnects on a more formal level instead of the minute compulsive postings on social media. When you keep up with the P's, we Padulas manage to have something always going on. No, no new babies coming that we know of (although I'm not against the idea). Just a lot of the unknown looming ahead, with our choices being very important to the well`being of ourselves, our marriage, and our family. Being in Texas has been good for us as a family; I've been challenged to be a better mom, a better wife, a better me to myself. I have sharpened my ears and tried to keep the tone of my voice down. Tried to be good to myself and learn what I need to do to keep myself afloat creatively and in terms of passion. Most of the time, I talk with my peeps on social media. It helps keep me connected. Sometimes, I isolate myself for a very small amount of time to read or think or send catch-up texts to friends. Random