Chapter 3
My commandments of happiness were contrived of notions and ideas I have been generally working towards, but became much more magnetized towards once I had written them down. I have written them down on cute blue sticky notes and placed them in places I will see them; one on my bathroom mirror, one on the inside of my closet door, one on the dash of my car, and one on the front page of my planner. The idea is that I will see them constantly and swiftly meditate on them with each glance. Here are my commandments:
1. Accept myself as I am AT THIS MOMENT.
2. Give that compliment you hesitate to say
3. Smile at others and don't expect one in return.
4. Be open even in awkward situations
5. Identify the problem instead of blaming
6. Be willing to compromise ALL THE WAY.
7. Say "I'll do better" and MEAN IT.
8. Stand up for myself lovingly.
9. Always say "thank you." Always.
10. Listen to yourself, and say "no" when needed.
11. Lighten up! When tense, laugh or breathe deeply.
12. Do what needs to be done without justification, scorekeeping, or laziness. (!)
13. Take small risks with others and myself
14. Set my own standards, although I can borrow from others
15. Make it work.
16. be humble, yet strong.
17. Act how you want to feel! (i.e. loyal, friendly, compassionate, sincere)
And a few I'm adopting that others in the the HP book suggested:
*If you can't get out of it, get INTO it!
* Give without limits, give without expectations
*React to the situation
Your commandments may be different than mine altogether, or we may share some common interests in areas of improvement. I found many of my goals for improvement to be aligned with Rubin's. One thing I can definitely say is that I am reshaping a set of core values and beliefs that fit me along with a new sense of self. For the past year I have been saying that I want to just focus on "being a good person," that is, reshaping who I am as a person and reassessing the characteristics I now possess and trading them for ones I wish to have. Although I firmly believe a person's identity and personality traits are shaped and formed by past uncontrollable environmental and biological factors, I also believe that with all things being possible, one can change themselves to be a new person with decisiveness, support, and a plan of action. Redirecting my personality to include the traits I believed to be desirable of a truly nice, honest, and genuine person was definitely going to take some effort, and I week of being mindful of these things has proved to be challenging but also nicely challenging. Giving compliments, smiling, lightening up, and doing what needs to be done are ways of making the atmosphere more pleasant for others, even if it didn't necessarily make me feel happier. Gretchen points out that by making others happy, we make ourselves happier, and the reverse is also true. What are the goals of improvement to promote happiness that you are mindful of?
My commandments of happiness were contrived of notions and ideas I have been generally working towards, but became much more magnetized towards once I had written them down. I have written them down on cute blue sticky notes and placed them in places I will see them; one on my bathroom mirror, one on the inside of my closet door, one on the dash of my car, and one on the front page of my planner. The idea is that I will see them constantly and swiftly meditate on them with each glance. Here are my commandments:
1. Accept myself as I am AT THIS MOMENT.
2. Give that compliment you hesitate to say
3. Smile at others and don't expect one in return.
4. Be open even in awkward situations
5. Identify the problem instead of blaming
6. Be willing to compromise ALL THE WAY.
7. Say "I'll do better" and MEAN IT.
8. Stand up for myself lovingly.
9. Always say "thank you." Always.
10. Listen to yourself, and say "no" when needed.
11. Lighten up! When tense, laugh or breathe deeply.
12. Do what needs to be done without justification, scorekeeping, or laziness. (!)
13. Take small risks with others and myself
14. Set my own standards, although I can borrow from others
15. Make it work.
16. be humble, yet strong.
17. Act how you want to feel! (i.e. loyal, friendly, compassionate, sincere)
And a few I'm adopting that others in the the HP book suggested:
*If you can't get out of it, get INTO it!
* Give without limits, give without expectations
*React to the situation
Your commandments may be different than mine altogether, or we may share some common interests in areas of improvement. I found many of my goals for improvement to be aligned with Rubin's. One thing I can definitely say is that I am reshaping a set of core values and beliefs that fit me along with a new sense of self. For the past year I have been saying that I want to just focus on "being a good person," that is, reshaping who I am as a person and reassessing the characteristics I now possess and trading them for ones I wish to have. Although I firmly believe a person's identity and personality traits are shaped and formed by past uncontrollable environmental and biological factors, I also believe that with all things being possible, one can change themselves to be a new person with decisiveness, support, and a plan of action. Redirecting my personality to include the traits I believed to be desirable of a truly nice, honest, and genuine person was definitely going to take some effort, and I week of being mindful of these things has proved to be challenging but also nicely challenging. Giving compliments, smiling, lightening up, and doing what needs to be done are ways of making the atmosphere more pleasant for others, even if it didn't necessarily make me feel happier. Gretchen points out that by making others happy, we make ourselves happier, and the reverse is also true. What are the goals of improvement to promote happiness that you are mindful of?
Not complaining is one that I want to work more at in general and at work! B/c boy I complain sometimes and that is just negativity all around. I think remaining optimistic and joyful is always a work in progress. I know I haven't focused much on staying joyful at all times lately...I always desire for others to be happy, espcially being a server that is my number one goal...I think all of what you listed is super great to work towards and like you said, it is definitely challenging to say the least, but the more you do it, the more routine it becomes, and not to mention people need this in their lives...Living by the fruits of the spirit and trying to follow Jesus's characteristics is something I will work towards for the rest of my life, but reading this is a good in-your-face reminder (which I truly needed)...
ReplyDeleteDon't you love to be around people that are upbeat and positive? I know I do!!! After all Jesus didn't go looking for people, they came to him because of what he gave off! I think that is something to work towards being more like Jesus don't you!? It's not easy, but it is possible...