Chapter 10 I am still steadily plodding my way through my happiness project, and it has recently taken a little twist during my journey to develop my spirituality. Like many people, I was raised in church, and after going to college decided I didn't quite agree with all of the principles taught by my church and entered a partying phase. It was short-lived as I became pregnant with my first son. Having kids really made me think, "How am I going to teach these children about spirituality and about Christianity (my faith of choice)?" I have still been trying to figure that one out. Imagine my surprise and relief when I opened my planner this past week to discover I had penciled in a Women's Conference on Thurs/Fri. I scheduled the dates back in late March or early April, when Valley Family Church sent a flyer advertising their first ever two-day women's conference. The conference was titled, "Press Pause." Sounded just like my type of event! I really ad...

This is an aside from the Happy Files. Ladies, I have a very important and sincere message to give to you. Let it Be. "What the hell are you talking about, " you may be wondering. But I think you know. "I just can't fit into my pre-preggo pants!" Let it Be. " My boobs just don't look the way they used to before I had kids!" Let it Be. " I have all these gray strands in my hair and I'm only 35!" Let it Be. " I don't have the six-pack I used to have!" Let it Be. " Maybe if I was younger I could do that!" Let it Be. " I'm getting wrinkles before 30!" Let it Be. " I can't run/walk/jog as fast as I used to" Let it Be. "It" refers to the all of the ways we fight aging. All of the ways we tell ourselves we aren't good enough, or sexy enough, or strong enough, or YOUNG ENOUGH to continue to make a difference. Used goods, eh? Well let me tell you something. Life is ...

Chapter 9 This chapter is all about finding happiness by accepting yourself as you are and making a difference by being yourself. Impressing others by pretending to be someone you're not or know something you don't isn't nearly as exciting as wowing others by who you aren't (a boring know-it-all) and what you don't (you don't know what Glee! is all about? Oh my gosh I have to tell you). In fact, just being who you are opens up a world full of conversational possibilities with other selves out there. Part of accepting myself is knowing that I cannot sew to save my life. I cannot do more than 3 hip-hop moves (and wiggling hips down low does not count) to have enough variety while dancing. I love flowers and would like to have a garden and grow flowers and veggies, but I am so deathly afraid of bugs my garden will probably never be tended to because I will kill everything with bug spray. I don't know Spanish as fluently as I wish I did, but I know I could s...

Chapter 8 So I needed a little while to get my happyness goals set in motion by developing habits to achieve them. So far I am on my second week of creating a structure of exercise where I work out 25 min/day. The first week that goal landed me 5 days of exercise! I don't think I've ever willingly worked out 5 days in any one week. This is week 2, and the structure so far has gotten me 4 days of exercise, and I have two more days in the week; I missed Monday. This has made me a little happier in that I know I am taking responsibility for exercise and pushing myself to make it routine. When I make it a choice, it won't happen. This is what I have found works for me . Your own goals may need different structure than what I have set up for myself. This chapter is mainly about family. This month Shawn and I produced our first issue of our first newsletter, called The Padula Post. It was one of my goals to keep our families updated with our lives and include them in our fam...

Chapter 7 Amazing how one of my happiness goals, forgiveness, has sat active in my mind with the drawing near of and occurrence of Mother's Day. What a beautiful holiday. I couldn't help realizing my inability to enjoy the day with abandon. I knew that in addition to being Mother's Day, it was also my adoptive mother's birthday, her 60th. I am always very aware of how old my parents are, and with each passing birthday I cringe a little thinking ahead to the days when their birthdays will only bring memories instead of a voice on the other end of the telephone line. I knew I would call my mother today, and I knew I would wish her both a happy birthday and a happy Mother's Day, and let her know I hoped she would have a great day. I figured we would politely exchange conversation about our plans for the day, how things were going with my husband's job, etc But I knew that after not talking for four weeks we were both thinking the same thing : "Why is this...

Chapter 6 I have come to grips about a few things about myself that have always bothered me but now I feel I can accept. The first: I find a project that I want to tackle, I run it into the ground, I wear myself out over it, and then I am so fatigued I end up at times becoming depressed because of my lack of progress and simply give up on it for an unprecedented period of time. Take exercise, for example. I put myself through hell to have a flat stomach, slimmer thighs, and toned arms after having two babies. I attributed my inability to lose weight after my first pregnancy to having hypothryroidism, which does make it almost impossible to lose weight. I then fell into a depression because I loved eating too much to avoid certain foods AND hated cardio too much to run around my apartment complex. Talk about Mission Impossible! I set out to accomplish a task, and when other factors contributed to the delay of the completion of my task, I have a heart attack! Everyone around wa...

Chapter 5 Now is when the pieces are really going to start being put together. I just finished the book, "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. It left with me with a child-like excitement to being mindfully accepting my quest for happiness that I can barely contain. This woman is one of my literary heroes, all because she has voiced for me that which I never knew could be voiced. And now I feel I have the opportunity to have a better quality of life because I know that at least one other person struggled with and worked out a solution to her resolve towards self-improvement, thus happiness. Why a "Happiness Project?" At the very end of her book, Rubin's husband made note of the fact that her project was really a cover-up for wanting to gain more control of her life. Pause. Recognize. Wow! Ditto! My intrigued obsession with her account of soul-seeking played on my own desire to look the phenomenon of happiness in the face and demand to know more about ...

Chapter 4 If you don't have the book "The Happiness Project" by now, I may have to leave you in the dust a tiny bit. Many of the references I will use come straight from the book. Forgive me, but I am just exploding to hit every topic! First and foremost, I must confess something: I love writing and would love to be a writer if I could somehow work that out. It is so releasing, comforting, and sharing to open my heart completely through words and depictions. I feel it is definitely a form of therapy within itself. The downside is once it's out there, you open your work and honesty to judgement, criticism, and of course rejection. Fortunately, I have been working towards internalizing the verse of the Bible that says, "Judge not, lest ye be judged." That way I don't have to worry about others judging me for they will receive it in return. So cliche, but "Only God can judge me!". His opinion is the only one that should really matter to me. I ...

Chapter 3 My commandments of happiness were contrived of notions and ideas I have been generally working towards, but became much more magnetized towards once I had written them down. I have written them down on cute blue sticky notes and placed them in places I will see them; one on my bathroom mirror, one on the inside of my closet door, one on the dash of my car, and one on the front page of my planner. The idea is that I will see them constantly and swiftly meditate on them with each glance. Here are my commandments: 1. Accept myself as I am AT THIS MOMENT. 2. Give that compliment you hesitate to say 3. Smile at others and don't expect one in return. 4. Be open even in awkward situations 5. Identify the problem instead of blaming 6. Be willing to compromise ALL THE WAY. 7. Say "I'll do better" and MEAN IT. 8. Stand up for myself lovingly. 9. Always say "thank you." Always. 10. Listen to yourself, and say "no" when needed. 11. Lig...