The Good Woman woke up one day, and realized she no longer felt refreshed. She wiggled her toes, and felt a dull ache that resided all along the bottoms of her feet. She flexed her hands, in and out, in and out. The same ache. It took all the energy she could muster to swing her feet over the side of the bed and pull her creaking body upright, placing her hands on her legs and slowly bending into the squat that would propel her into a standing position.
She had been to the doctor after her last baby, and had blood tests done. The tests showed that her thyroid was low, whatever that meant. She listened as her eyes glazed over, hearing the words "T4" and "thyroid stimulating hormone alerts the brain..." all the while wondering "When will I feel better? When will I get my life back?" She could only remember that earlier that week, her husband impatiently picked up around the house, throwing the dishes in the dishwasher, asking what was the plan for dinner. She remembered the shame and disgrace she felt at not having lifted hardly a finger from her stationary position on the couch most of that week. She feebly remarked that she did her best to take care of the kids throughout the day; in fact her day had consisted of dragging herself to the kitchen to make sandwiches, wiping bottoms in the bathroom, and slinking back to lie down on the couch after expending even that small amount of energy. Her husband wanted to cuddle, watch movies after work; she couldn't stay awake. And she couldn't mistake the disappointment in his eyes.
The Good Woman was very sad. How could she ever accomplish all of her dreams and goals if she couldn't even drag herself into the shower every day? No successful woman should stink, or feel tired two hours after waking from ten hours of sleep the night before. The angst at not being able to command her body to attention, to perform energetically and with strength was too much to bear, especially without any idea of when the energy drought would end. She constantly scheduled appointments, and the doctors offered to try different medications. She heard "depression....psychiatrist...tested for lupus and fibromyalgia...arthritis" and underwent the examination of the Sleep Health Clinic, staying for an overnight study where she was imprisoned in a small room to follow a schedule of napping and waking with wires attached to her brain. Even they turned her away with shrugged shoulders.
The Good Woman felt defeated; she searched and researched for nearly a year, losing faith in doctors and in herself and her dreams. She felt frantic that her life may be doomed to living as an invalid, and that her body would continue to weaken, being unable to open jelly jars and walk long distances and play with her children and travel with her husband...and she felt ashamed and betrayed. She no longer wanted to work, since work made her tired. She no longer wanted to plan outings and be active, since she wouldn't have energy to follow through. She never visited family out of town, since the long drives made her nervous she wouldn't be able to stay awake on the way back. She just shrank into a withered up being, sad and depressed and dejected.
Still she wasn't quite willing to give up all hope. The Good Woman discovered that when she forced herself to exercise, she received small doses of energy that would keep her feeling energized for up to an hour or two afterwards. So she began pushing herself to exercise. There was a tug of war, a wanting to lie down and sleep and an urgency to push her muscles and cardiovascular system to perform, pumping life through them via blood and oxygen. She discovered coffee, which she used to help medicate. Although her condition was still crippling in her eyes, she had found a small way to cope. She knew she could press through and try harder to live life and even dare to continue dreaming.
Many months later, there came a particular day when she waited anxiously, half-excited and half-nervous to be let down. Eventually the horizontal line was joined by a vertical line, and she texted her husband, "It's positive, praise the Lord!" Another miracle was being stirred and formed in her tired womb. And as the weeks progressed, something amazing happened: the Good Woman was restored in health, with none of the fatigue that had plagued her the previous year. She felt her new baby had brought healing into her body, and she was very grateful. Although nervous that when she gave birth her condition would return, she pledged to remain present in her current pregnancy and enjoy the brief and humorous reprieve she had been given, wondering if she would ever gain true rest and relief in her body.
The months passed, and her condition surely returned. This time she pushed and sweetly yet firmly asked for better care, for better understanding, and resolved to make sure she found hope in healing for her body and mind, so that her babies and husband would treasure her strength and perseverance through her physical trials. She resolved to pursue healing regardless of what the doctors said were possible. She decided to treat her body as both flesh and spirit, and more emotional healing, uplifting, and cracking of a hardened heart ensued. Many times she cried out that surely God wished to take her life from the pain of emotional healing, and the heartaches she often felt. She felt desperately alone, desperately crazed to find some piece of familiarity in her journey. But there were only frayed ends, withdrawn leads, and cold, barren soil in which to sow. She would need to take her weary body and heart, and build her own pillars of strength, foundations of courage, and house of health and understanding that would not be moved, but serve as a refuge for others and a healing pool for those afflicted to soak.
The Good Woman decided to take her infirmity and cast it off in the name of prosperity and abundance. She worked and toiled, sweated, coughed, wheezed, and had burning in her throat from the passion worked up inside of her. She smiled at the dreams she saw in her head of bridges built from all over the Earth, joining together at her home of healing and restoration. She saw lives changed, cracks sealed, heads firmly planted, and feet sent in sure pathways. She still works and she still dreams, knowing the three children watching her will one day inherit the glory and riches of her perseverance. She is the Good Woman.
She had been to the doctor after her last baby, and had blood tests done. The tests showed that her thyroid was low, whatever that meant. She listened as her eyes glazed over, hearing the words "T4" and "thyroid stimulating hormone alerts the brain..." all the while wondering "When will I feel better? When will I get my life back?" She could only remember that earlier that week, her husband impatiently picked up around the house, throwing the dishes in the dishwasher, asking what was the plan for dinner. She remembered the shame and disgrace she felt at not having lifted hardly a finger from her stationary position on the couch most of that week. She feebly remarked that she did her best to take care of the kids throughout the day; in fact her day had consisted of dragging herself to the kitchen to make sandwiches, wiping bottoms in the bathroom, and slinking back to lie down on the couch after expending even that small amount of energy. Her husband wanted to cuddle, watch movies after work; she couldn't stay awake. And she couldn't mistake the disappointment in his eyes.
The Good Woman was very sad. How could she ever accomplish all of her dreams and goals if she couldn't even drag herself into the shower every day? No successful woman should stink, or feel tired two hours after waking from ten hours of sleep the night before. The angst at not being able to command her body to attention, to perform energetically and with strength was too much to bear, especially without any idea of when the energy drought would end. She constantly scheduled appointments, and the doctors offered to try different medications. She heard "depression....psychiatrist...tested for lupus and fibromyalgia...arthritis" and underwent the examination of the Sleep Health Clinic, staying for an overnight study where she was imprisoned in a small room to follow a schedule of napping and waking with wires attached to her brain. Even they turned her away with shrugged shoulders.
The Good Woman felt defeated; she searched and researched for nearly a year, losing faith in doctors and in herself and her dreams. She felt frantic that her life may be doomed to living as an invalid, and that her body would continue to weaken, being unable to open jelly jars and walk long distances and play with her children and travel with her husband...and she felt ashamed and betrayed. She no longer wanted to work, since work made her tired. She no longer wanted to plan outings and be active, since she wouldn't have energy to follow through. She never visited family out of town, since the long drives made her nervous she wouldn't be able to stay awake on the way back. She just shrank into a withered up being, sad and depressed and dejected.
Still she wasn't quite willing to give up all hope. The Good Woman discovered that when she forced herself to exercise, she received small doses of energy that would keep her feeling energized for up to an hour or two afterwards. So she began pushing herself to exercise. There was a tug of war, a wanting to lie down and sleep and an urgency to push her muscles and cardiovascular system to perform, pumping life through them via blood and oxygen. She discovered coffee, which she used to help medicate. Although her condition was still crippling in her eyes, she had found a small way to cope. She knew she could press through and try harder to live life and even dare to continue dreaming.
Many months later, there came a particular day when she waited anxiously, half-excited and half-nervous to be let down. Eventually the horizontal line was joined by a vertical line, and she texted her husband, "It's positive, praise the Lord!" Another miracle was being stirred and formed in her tired womb. And as the weeks progressed, something amazing happened: the Good Woman was restored in health, with none of the fatigue that had plagued her the previous year. She felt her new baby had brought healing into her body, and she was very grateful. Although nervous that when she gave birth her condition would return, she pledged to remain present in her current pregnancy and enjoy the brief and humorous reprieve she had been given, wondering if she would ever gain true rest and relief in her body.
The months passed, and her condition surely returned. This time she pushed and sweetly yet firmly asked for better care, for better understanding, and resolved to make sure she found hope in healing for her body and mind, so that her babies and husband would treasure her strength and perseverance through her physical trials. She resolved to pursue healing regardless of what the doctors said were possible. She decided to treat her body as both flesh and spirit, and more emotional healing, uplifting, and cracking of a hardened heart ensued. Many times she cried out that surely God wished to take her life from the pain of emotional healing, and the heartaches she often felt. She felt desperately alone, desperately crazed to find some piece of familiarity in her journey. But there were only frayed ends, withdrawn leads, and cold, barren soil in which to sow. She would need to take her weary body and heart, and build her own pillars of strength, foundations of courage, and house of health and understanding that would not be moved, but serve as a refuge for others and a healing pool for those afflicted to soak.
The Good Woman decided to take her infirmity and cast it off in the name of prosperity and abundance. She worked and toiled, sweated, coughed, wheezed, and had burning in her throat from the passion worked up inside of her. She smiled at the dreams she saw in her head of bridges built from all over the Earth, joining together at her home of healing and restoration. She saw lives changed, cracks sealed, heads firmly planted, and feet sent in sure pathways. She still works and she still dreams, knowing the three children watching her will one day inherit the glory and riches of her perseverance. She is the Good Woman.
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