It has never hurt so much
To tell myself
"This isn't good for you."
I have never felt like so violently screeching
Making raw, bulging cords
That might snap and gut
My throat
A sharp hiss
Of outward air
Being the extent of any scream I might still have inside
my belly
And all my veins in between
Because you decided to be the judge
Of what I deserved
When you knew you chose darkness
But called my light brujeria
Gestured widely at the plants on my altar
As if I was tainting you
Holding you here
When I was just gifting you
What I've already given to myself
Acceptance, understanding, tenderness, a free heart
I will never regret that
Like you will
Because you couldn't receive it.
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