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What I Now know for Sure

My dears,

It's been a while since I've posted. I've taken a hiatus to surround myself with work, learning to fully love and care for my husband and kids, and to protect and nurture my third pregnancy. Life is so amazing. And I know there's a God because of what I've learned for sure.

  • It is SO much easier to judge, pass blame, put your pain on others, and seek justice when you believe (perhaps rightfully) that others have hurt you. "Vengeance is mine," saith the Lord. This is a hard concept to accept and let lie. We feel vindicated, that if others have hurt us we finally have the right to expose them and let hell loose around them and leave them to lie in it. And maybe we do. But the Christian principle is to "turn the other cheek", one of the most ridiculous, hardest, and craziest-sounding things to do when you want to fight.

  • The words that carry a sting to them, like "abuse", "mistreated", "unstable", etc. are so hard to say, because we feel ashamed that it even happened to us or someone close to us that we know and didn't protect, perhaps because we didn't know or didn't want to hurt another's feelings. But calling a demon by it's name is a requirement to expunging it. Say the hard words, and don't back down and become weak because others won't accept that it has taken a possession in your life. Hurt people hurt people. Period.

  • Marriage is hard because it's a lesson in letting go. Of your past, your expectations of perfection, your walls of self-righteousness. You have to see that you will both hurt one another, and it's your handling of these situations that determines whether you will be together 60 years down the road or be single next year. "That's what the promise is for." That you will always be that person's other half, or helper, even when they're totally in the wrong. I'm sure you've been totally in the wrong too sometimes. The PART B to making marriage work is that you have to be willing to ask for help (i.e. counseling, prayer, support groups/small groups). You both have to be willing to read the self-help books. You both have to be willing to pray for each other. That's how your love and respect for one another is strengthened and prospers. And that's why it, marriage, is so beautiful.

  • It gets easier to love and say love as you get a little older and experience growth. If you're still having trouble, write a letter, send a card, or a text. Get the message across somehow. You're responsible for being a receiver AND a sender.

  • The hardest thing to deal with is when death precedes forgiveness. Forgive if the possible death of anyone you are struggling with even crosses your mind. Being open and vulnerable is risky because, as in the first lesson, people feel like they can receive the upper hand from preying on your humbleness. Deciding to live a lifestyle of forgiveness is a narrow path that's hard to walk. Along the way are wellbeing, peace, strength, respect, maturity, and and the presence of the Almighty. And closure when your loved ones pass.

  • Life really is not all about us. "Greater love has no one than this, than he lay down his life for his friends." "But I come that you may have life, and life more abundantly."
Jesus is an example of coming to do good for others, even though it led to laying down His life. If we have a servant's mentality, or "How can I help (seniors, youth, underprivileged, disabled, abused/neglected, underawareness) mentality, our world is built up on strength and spirit instead of fake security in materialism and manpower. Man always fails on his own accord. The impact of what you do for others lasts forever.

  • If you can't take it with you when you die, and you'd "die" without it, you need a new perspective.

  •  "But these three exist: Faith, Hope, and Love. And the greatest of these is Love." Learn to love your children, your friends, your spouse, yourself. I know for sure that this a guaranteed way to gain from life. And thanks to Oprah for inspiring the title to this blog, as well as inspiring women everywhere with her servanthood.
Here's to continued enlightenment, and happiness along the way!

Love Monica
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