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Social Media Etiquette

I did a post quite some time ago on the preferred etiquette between musicians and their accompanists. There are so many things we don't think we have to say because they are commonly sensical and professional, but require a level of maturity many aren't willing to hand over. Thus comes the current post.

Facebook, Twitter, and whatever everyone else uses to stay connected, linked, in-the-know, etc. are privileges. It is a privilege for someone to let you into their life a little more virtually through such sites. They are the last place, however, for public confrontation, harrassment, bullying, and other types of negative association.

Would you go to your boss's facebook wall and write something rude that you think of them? Or bring up something that should be private so that all of their friends/co-workers/social circle is suddenly made uncomfortable by knowing that something weird is going on on that person's page? Not only is it showing your character or lack of, it is rude and out of line. Even making status updates can get you fired nowadays and your story blasted all over the news.. So, the answer is no, you would not go to your employee/employer/pastor/doctor/counselor's Facebook or Twitter and start mess. Hopefully because you know better. Nor should you treat anyone else any differently.

So what in God's green Earth gives any of us the right to start confrontation using these sites? Is it because it's easier to make a jab at someone and taunt them to respond without having to use the discomfort of doing it to their face? Is it because it's free, and using the cell phone costs money? In that case, there's always email, and that is a private and acceptable way to communicate. Perhaps it's because you just want the satisfaction of "outing" someone who you think has done something wrong or in a less preferable manner to what you would have done. Take your pick.

Friends, if we have conflicts with one another, we should bring it to their attention. Festering and smoldering emotion only ends up burning everyone once the pot is stirred. But there is always a time and a place for everything. Using someone's comfort zone, a place where they should feel safe, as in on their profile page is not acceptable. Professionally and discreetly contacting them via message is. The point is, no one can tell the tone with which you're "saying" your comments, and therefore it is left up for interpretation, and anything goes! So be mature, smart, and professional (heck, forget professional, decent!) enough to address someone with which you have a dispute in the proper manner.

And speaking of, whatever happened to the account settings where everyone has the right to privately exclude others from their social circle by blocking or deleting as a friend? It doesn't mean you don't like the person, it means you don't want them in your personal space creating a toxic presence in your created safe zone. It's smart to your overall wellness, and shows that you take responsibility in standing up for yourself. One's personal Facebook or Twitter exists for the purpose of being open to making yourself known to others, and that includes all of you-your experiences, your life events, and your day-to-day happenings. That's your right, and no one can take that away from you...if someone just must remark negatively or with a confrontational spirit on something you felt led to post on your page, they can muse on their own personal space also known as THEIR page.

True, everyone needs correction to learn, and trust me! I have taken notes here and there as I'm positive everyone has along the way of social networking life.  But no one needs people disturbing the comfort of their social circle to have a last word, first word, or unneeded word. So do the right thing and handle it right. NOT on social media sites. Period. The End.

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