Needed: Working Mothers

JOB DESCRIPTION

 

 

A working mother is any woman who is caring for a child or group of children and providing or supplementing partial provision for them in the guise of housing, food, supervision, education, character building, and emotional investment. The ideal working mother works in partnership with a working father, and unfortunately according to recent US studies from 2005-2009, over 13 MILLION parents are single parents (84% of which are single mothers) raising 26% of the population considered to be minors (under 18 years of age).

 

According to this website ( http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/p/portrait.htm) on the statistics of single parenting, many parents started out in committed relationships and never intended to become single parents! Most single moms are over age 40 and divorced. Women who were never married are close behind them on the single-parent trend. So we already have many working mothers who are not in partnership with the man who helped conceive their children! What a devastating trend in our society and a cry for help to step in and help partner as a country to raise these children, our future society and leaders.

 

The objectives of a working mother are to care for the children in a way that promotes the physical and emotional health of the individuals under her care from birth to adulthood, which at times includes balancing the below described duties between more than one child.

A working mother MUST perform the below abilities with satisfactory completion:

• carry/house/hold a child in her womb from conception until delivery, a minimum of 2 weeks to 40+ weeks, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with no exceptions OR accept the dynamic responsbility of raising a child who has already been birthed and carried by a carrier.
• IF CARRYING HER OWN CHILD: Seek proper prenatal care to the best of her ability since care for a child begins in the womb upon discovery of the pregnancy
• IF CARRYING HER OWN CHILD: Seek proper support, nutrition, physical excellence, and financial provision for herself while providing shelter for the growing child in her womb.
• After birthing the baby, provide immediate nourishment for the child via the mediums of her choice,but preferably by the natural form of breastmilk.
• Seek emotional stability after the imbalance of the hormones caused by pregnancy, which may need to take effect immediately and for an undetermined amount of time afterwards, based on her own needs and the stability of her outside life and support system.
• Secure appropriate housing/bedding/food/transportation for herself and her child throughout the provision of care. This may mean WORKING ANOTHER JOB OUTSIDE THE HOME. That is called being dually-employed. Being a mom is already an ALL-THE-TIME job. Anything outside of that is extra. Extra hard, extra tiring, extra, extra, extra everything.
• As the child grows, be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 a year per child for a minimum of 157,680 hours, 6,552 days, and 18 years (as determined legally), not including the time of pregnancy, which requires a minimum of 280 days if you/nature decide to carry your pregnancy to term.
• Take no more sick days than able to successfully continue working full-time, which may be no more than 8 days over a course of 18 years altogether, no matter how many children. You have no time to be sick because a portion of society counts on your ability to perform at maximum capacity at all times. Any more sick time than this will reflect poorly on your performance and can have very adverse effects and consequences. That said, try not to ever get sick.
• Take each child to routine checkups, secure vaccinations so as not to infect the population, understand and carry out nutritive habits in the household so that your responsibility of the society you're raising will not contribute to the steadily rising 31.7% child obesity crisis (in research studies performed in 2008) and the current studies that show 1 in 3 kids will be obese by age 6.
• Study, research, learn, and fight to keep your family healthy physically and emotionally. Just talking the kids here. Demand they practice hand-washing, good butt-wiping, and sneeze/cough in their elbow.
• From infancy-toddlerdom, withstand and endure any manner of fecal/urinary douses, sprays, spills, explosions, and the laundry that goes with it. Go on www.marthastewart.com to download the chart for all stain-removal techniques. In fact just subscribe to most of the cleaning tips on that website.
• Constantly update yourself on how to prevent your kids from coming into contact with pollution and toxicity from chemically-ridden products in your home.BLEACH is now NOT the answer to all cleaning.
• Patiently and unexplosively counsel your children in why it is not appropriate to bite, kick, hit, jump on, throw things at, destroy, and otherwise endanger each other and try demonstrating as able those examples yourself...not doing them, that is.
• Spank your kids and pretend you don't, at least in public. Open hand on tushy even though you might have an accident and slap their face before your hand knew what it was doing. Try again till you get it right. And quickly before your children risk being whisked away from you and you being stamped with a scarlet letter of "A" for abusive monster.
• Do NOT "Train" your child in the way he/she should go by using any object to manipulate/whip them into doing the "right thing." If that is the training you have received, know it is against the law to treat your children in these manners no matter what your parents did or their parents did. Routinely attend counseling YOURSELF for the routine stress, anger, frustration, exasperation, and updated discipline techniques you need to keep you and your family out of the asylum. This may include a licensed therapist/family counselor or be a Moms support group or support of women at church or other faith-based organization. This is the one thing this job description DEMANDS you monitor with utmost importance.
• Sometimes it's more fun than it looks.
• Try your best to keep the children from ingesting medicine or other toxic materials. Keep the number to Poison Control in your cell at ALL times and keep the number on the fridge. For reference, the number is 800-222-1222. I know because I called this morning.
• The most common things your child may try to eat is sweetened medicine and toothpaste. At least from my personal studies.
• Exhibit at all times appropriate behavior, language, conflict-resolution, and moral-ridden techniques and lifestyle choices that will impact society positively; remember, you are raising society. Get with it.
• When someone says "Oh...you've got your hands full!" reply "I'm so blessed! I am the lucky one!"
• Try your best at all times. If you can't do that find someone to help. And always make your kids take naps and enforce quiet times as they get older.
• Use resources from the government or others offering to help if and when you need them. Everyone starts somewhere, and once you get where you're going pass them on to those who really need them. Don't be greedy.
• Parenting is a character-building exercise. Try your best.
• Get used to crying...long and loud crying. If you can't take it put them down and walk away and start blogging/reading/listening to music/practicing your instrument/calling your mom or friend crying/looking online for support tactics or techniques. Don't shake your baby no matter how much you think it will help. Or throw your child. These are also against the law.
• If you get sick of everyone's parenting techniques, use process of elimination. What technique will turn my child into someone with character, teach deeper lessons, teach him to respect my authority, and teach him to respect outside authority like the police/teachers/police/teachers/police/president/police/laws/government/police?
• Teach your child what to do when he/she is approached sexually, and where the proper organs are to annihilate upon those advances while yelling bloody murder and looking the perpetrator in the eye and yelling "bad dog!"
• Don't let your child whine too much. That's not good for anybody. Give them a choice between a whine or something they don't want. FOLLOW THROUGH. It works.
• Follow the laws of the land and pay your taxes. Don't grumble against authority out loud. That's immature. Your opinion only matters to people who care to hear it. Your job is to teach your child concrete values, not give abstract rationalizations. That's why I gave up my cat. It was against the rules to have it in the first place, but I came around.
• In whatever religion you expose your children to, try to follow the hierarchy of your belief system as long as it doesn't conflict with the current laws. Teaching them to follow different types of rules is great but respect the hierarchy of God/Govmnt/Outside Work/etc
• Teaching your kids to follow rules is actually doing them a favor. No discipline feels good at the time but painful. Nobody likes to be wrong and do hard things. Do things because it's right, not because it's easy. We are raising leaders.
• Teach your child that their value rises above the society's assignments of identity through race, color, curviness, hair type, and discrimination. They need to know how to fight battles outside of your home. Do not teach them a slave's mentality. Teach them freedom thinking.
• Be a Harriet Tubman to your kids and their friends...she could have freed so many more if they only knew they were in bondage.
• Don't allow any discriminating self-sabotaging talk to come out of your kids' mouths. Do not say those things to yourself or they will copy your example. Freedom thinking. Body-loving.
• Teach your kids to have genuine concern and appreciation for the elderly. One day they will wipe your butt and you don't want them taking care of you if they haven't forgiven you for mistreating them. Take care of YOUR grandmother to show them how to take care of the elderly.
• Don't gossip about others around your children. Especially about their mental health. That's just wrong.
• Don't lord your power over your children. Your are not a totalitarian dictator. You actually love those you lead and want them to be individual. Thank God Hitler's and Osama's only pop up once in a blue moon...
• At some point you will regret your actions. Do your best and show your kids how to say I'm sorry by doing it. Over and over.
• You really don't know everything. So find everything out. Then try again and again.
• You are never really done with this job until you gasp your last breath. Your heart and mind will still take care of your child even when they have their own family and are mad at you for some reason. This is life
• Do not ask your child to take care of your unresolved emotions if you have not put in the time to take care of theirs. That's just cruel.
• You are a human and you are not wired for perfection. Neither are your kids. Love them hard anyways.
• Never give up on your children. Never ever never ever never ever ever never.
• You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to throw pillows in the privacy of your bedroom with the door closed. You are allowed to be close to the edge. Then you are REQUIRED to seek out people who care for you and ask them to just love you. And love your kids.
• No one else can do this job for you to the ability that you can do it. You are biologically wired to primitively care for your young and give and receive emotional connectors and feel capacities of love for your natural born child that is not meant to be broken. Adoptive parents, you are stepping into a hard job and you need ample support. Your contribution to taking over society for the moms out of work is undeniably sacrificial and motivated by your own working "mom genes." You are incredible and appreciated beyond belief.
• If you are pregnant and had no idea of the real job description, jump in where you can and NEVER LOOK BACK. The rewards will be greater than the grief, your love will never fail even when it looks like it does. Your love will cover a multitude of your child's shortcomings. They are yours and they are of you and how great is God's love for giving you such an experience.
• Do NOT allow negative, hormonally-imbalanced people to frequent your home because they will poison your well-being air. Pray for them, teach your kids how to love those people, and limit their withdrawals in your life. Stay armored up to fight for your family.
• With each child you care for, you must repeat, repeat, repeat all these things times that many children. Starting over at Day 1. Yes of course it's exhausting. But as Ms. Martin in 8th grade said, "Practice makes PERMANENT what you do." Strive for permanence in stability with your parenting practice.
• Each child may be different. Don't be a one-trick-Jane.
• IMPORTANT: WHEN YOU THINK YOU CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE, you are stronger than you know, smarter than you think, better than you were told, empowered by supernatural hands, and YOU MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE. You are NECESSARY. You are VITAL. You are NEEDED. You are CRUCIAL. You are the face of God to your children. Never leave or forsake them. They WILL take it personally. Leaving them is a physical act that requires emotional withdrawal in order to SURVIVE. Don't put that baggage of rejection or not being good enough on them because it was thrown on you. You are a WARRIOR to your child. We are in WAR against a society that expects us to stumble, that expects us to live in poverty, that expects us to be trampled with defeat, that expects us to give up, that expects us to go crazy, that expects us to FAIL at child-raising. We are expected to be WEAK. So show our society that you not only HAVE what it takes, you ARE what it takes to keep this country moving. Because somewhere along the way, someone forgot how to take care of our WOMEN, our MOTHERS, our SISTERS, our COMMUNITY. And that's why we are STRUGGLING. Married and single alike. As Winston Churchill stated in his college address:

NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. give up.
       
 And as the Bible, which is the foundation of our faith as a country and our forefathers branded this country on and by says:
With man, things are impossible. But with God, ALL things are possible.

That includes being a superior, fantastic, working mom.

Now, please get back to work.

Fellow working mom,
Monica P.