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Feeling Blessed

Today I realized that I am loved and that I am blessed to be able to have children, watch them grow, and stay home mostly full-time to do so. My youngest son Kendrick, who just turned a year old a couple weeks ago, is now growing into his personality and it's such a treat to see. I love this part of child-rearing! 

I really do believe the first five years of our babies' lives are the hardest because they are almost 1000% hands/ears/thoughts-ON. So much micromanaging, effort, strength, stress, and speculation goes into their care. From discipline to schooling choices to nutrition to personal energy stamina it's quite the tilt-a-whirl. Sometimes I feel for myself because of the hustle and bustle and energy required and expended and other times I feel grateful, mostly the latter. Especially during nap time.

But those little moments-the laughs over shaking our heads "no" over eating pureed bananas, talking about butts inappropriately at the dinner table, heaving inside as you firmly tell your child they most absolutely ARE going to do what you tell them while you wonder what you're going to do when they refuse, and the happiness they get over going to their favorite toy store/restaurant/family trip where they bounce around and won't stop. Those are moments I'm glad to have experienced.

I relieve life is full of choices. To have or not to have...kids? spouses? houses? traveling options? car or van? relationships with difficult people? more schooling? spend all your savings to invest riskily in your dream? buy nice things and never use them? walk around barefoot? It's the conscious choosing and the choosing of your direction in life that is such a gift to have. And it makes you more grateful for the opportunity to have that choice. I feel like my life is such a gift, and I'm really dwelling in the present of each experience. I think this is what it's all about.

Yes it's too fast, too crazed, too expensive, too slow, and seemingly never-ending for me to catch even a jagged breath. But it's going nonetheless and I'm all in. And I feel blessed for just this experience. 


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