Know your truth! Anyone who didn't live it, doesn't know it!
My friend, your confidence and self-esteem must be strong for this one. So many of us, especially those who are known as Adult Children, seek approval as a means of value to their life. The problem is that most people want you to pay a heavy price for their approval, one that is demeaning to your growth and recovery. It can be denial, it can be suppression of healing, or any number of things that are not right for you. Know your truth! Stand in it so you don't fall or lead others to remain in predicaments they need to get out of.
I am inspired by the Bible because of all the adversity and controversy discussed in the stories. Many prophets were afraid...people back in those days would stone them to death for hearing something told they didn't want to hear, for being told something that made them uncomfortable, for being asked to change something they weren't trying to change. Some prophets ran away, lived alone in the desert, begged to be relieved of their assignment. But God's finger did not waver, and in the end, no matter the fate met by the prophet the words they delivered held strong messages and urges of change that we still read today. This was their job, their plight. Jesus himself stood up to the teachers of the law-people who were "right!" in front of others. He corrected their translations, their actions, and their piousness. And He was their Creator! He had a connection to them because He made them. It's extremely hard to stand up to those with which you have a personal connection. It is sad, even. But know that people are just that...people. They are humans, they have no power over life and death for you, they didn't create you, you don't owe your life to them. Your life belongs to a higher power. We give people so much power that we are surprised when they don't exhibit God-like tendencies. Know that people are just people.
Put on your blinders, so as not to get any dust in your eyes or otherwise have your vision altered. People will become emotionally attached to the sheds of exoskeleton that you leave behind through your words, posts, pictures, and depictions even if you put them off objectively. Separating behavior from a person is often very hard for most people. Knowing that a murderer is still a valued son or daughter of God is hard to think about when all you can think of is the deed. Know what you are doing and believe in it! For me, I objectively speak out against abuse and speak for whole health, especially mental wellness. Looking at someone's physique gives you no clue what condition someone's spirit and soul is. Go outside and stare at your car and let me know what the weather forecast for tomorrow will be. You have to be looking at the right things-health, wellness, peace, justice, and purpose. Those things are usually not found on the sidelines, but attained through direct trajectory. Thus your blinders so you are not sidetracked. I'm amazed how often others try to (subjectively) argue your knowledge attained on your journey even though they were on a completely different highway in a different town with sunglasses on! If you've ever been to a point so low you considered ending your life the only option of relief, as I and many others have (but won't admit), I'll be damned if I don't claim my victory and carry on full force in the opposite direction of darkness I wallowed in.
Lastly, I think it's highly important to STUDY. Study yourself- what makes you tick? For me, it's when anyone even subliminally SUGGESTS that I have concocted some dramatic fairy tale to earn myself sympathy and brownie points. That's a great way to get me going in the OPPOSITE direction they wish me to go because I assume they are living in a comfortable unconscious state in their own happy-drunk state of Dreamland. I wish I had such a place to reside...or rather I don't. People out of touch with reality really grind my gears because I am quite an impatient person, and need them to quickly snap out of whatever hole they're hiding their head in and work hard towards a better world with me, not against me. But hey, that's just my opinion and they owe me nothing! I let them lie where they lay. Studying yourself involves getting real with yourself and your fears...the reason I get so ticked is because I don't the power of persuasion from others to put me back into the place of denial I was in before I sought help out of my pit. That was a place of death, and I refuse to take the tempting treat of easing back into that role in order to make things "better." What benefits me this, if I gain the world (allies, family, friends) yet I lose my soul (my progress, my integrity, my responsibility to myself to know what I've come through)? If you know your fears, you know the triggers that others may accidentally pull that will cause you to slip back. If you study yourself, you will see that anger covers fear- fear of loss, loneliness, and disapproval. Also, STUDY those in your community; those you surround yourself with. If you know their "gimmicks" and "catch phrases", and they still haven't changed them, chances are they're still selling the same old "Crap" (not the word I wanted to use!). Those who are working on recovery and getting better canNOT mingle loosely with those who are unwell, especially if they don't know it. That's the most dangerous position to be in. The well mingle together to build immunity, and the unwell mingle together in their sickness. If you are very aware, you can pick up traits and characteristics and others that are unwell and decide how you will keep yourself immune from catching any undesired vices from them. Limited contact? Hazard suit? Oxygen mask? Gloved hands? Slow speech? Just kidding...kind of.
Be prepared to stand alone. You are the exception, not the rule. The rule of the world is to jump in the swirling downward spiral of devastation and destruction. Choosing to go out of the way and off the path to find some sure footing is going to take you away from where everyone else is, maybe for quite a while and maybe for ever. Reach them with your prayers, your well-wishes, your cards, your Skypes, and positive thoughts. Learn to separate the action from the person; correct the action and love the person. And never give up your journey to wellness. It's the least you can do to love the only you we have.
Monica
My friend, your confidence and self-esteem must be strong for this one. So many of us, especially those who are known as Adult Children, seek approval as a means of value to their life. The problem is that most people want you to pay a heavy price for their approval, one that is demeaning to your growth and recovery. It can be denial, it can be suppression of healing, or any number of things that are not right for you. Know your truth! Stand in it so you don't fall or lead others to remain in predicaments they need to get out of.
I am inspired by the Bible because of all the adversity and controversy discussed in the stories. Many prophets were afraid...people back in those days would stone them to death for hearing something told they didn't want to hear, for being told something that made them uncomfortable, for being asked to change something they weren't trying to change. Some prophets ran away, lived alone in the desert, begged to be relieved of their assignment. But God's finger did not waver, and in the end, no matter the fate met by the prophet the words they delivered held strong messages and urges of change that we still read today. This was their job, their plight. Jesus himself stood up to the teachers of the law-people who were "right!" in front of others. He corrected their translations, their actions, and their piousness. And He was their Creator! He had a connection to them because He made them. It's extremely hard to stand up to those with which you have a personal connection. It is sad, even. But know that people are just that...people. They are humans, they have no power over life and death for you, they didn't create you, you don't owe your life to them. Your life belongs to a higher power. We give people so much power that we are surprised when they don't exhibit God-like tendencies. Know that people are just people.
Put on your blinders, so as not to get any dust in your eyes or otherwise have your vision altered. People will become emotionally attached to the sheds of exoskeleton that you leave behind through your words, posts, pictures, and depictions even if you put them off objectively. Separating behavior from a person is often very hard for most people. Knowing that a murderer is still a valued son or daughter of God is hard to think about when all you can think of is the deed. Know what you are doing and believe in it! For me, I objectively speak out against abuse and speak for whole health, especially mental wellness. Looking at someone's physique gives you no clue what condition someone's spirit and soul is. Go outside and stare at your car and let me know what the weather forecast for tomorrow will be. You have to be looking at the right things-health, wellness, peace, justice, and purpose. Those things are usually not found on the sidelines, but attained through direct trajectory. Thus your blinders so you are not sidetracked. I'm amazed how often others try to (subjectively) argue your knowledge attained on your journey even though they were on a completely different highway in a different town with sunglasses on! If you've ever been to a point so low you considered ending your life the only option of relief, as I and many others have (but won't admit), I'll be damned if I don't claim my victory and carry on full force in the opposite direction of darkness I wallowed in.
Lastly, I think it's highly important to STUDY. Study yourself- what makes you tick? For me, it's when anyone even subliminally SUGGESTS that I have concocted some dramatic fairy tale to earn myself sympathy and brownie points. That's a great way to get me going in the OPPOSITE direction they wish me to go because I assume they are living in a comfortable unconscious state in their own happy-drunk state of Dreamland. I wish I had such a place to reside...or rather I don't. People out of touch with reality really grind my gears because I am quite an impatient person, and need them to quickly snap out of whatever hole they're hiding their head in and work hard towards a better world with me, not against me. But hey, that's just my opinion and they owe me nothing! I let them lie where they lay. Studying yourself involves getting real with yourself and your fears...the reason I get so ticked is because I don't the power of persuasion from others to put me back into the place of denial I was in before I sought help out of my pit. That was a place of death, and I refuse to take the tempting treat of easing back into that role in order to make things "better." What benefits me this, if I gain the world (allies, family, friends) yet I lose my soul (my progress, my integrity, my responsibility to myself to know what I've come through)? If you know your fears, you know the triggers that others may accidentally pull that will cause you to slip back. If you study yourself, you will see that anger covers fear- fear of loss, loneliness, and disapproval. Also, STUDY those in your community; those you surround yourself with. If you know their "gimmicks" and "catch phrases", and they still haven't changed them, chances are they're still selling the same old "Crap" (not the word I wanted to use!). Those who are working on recovery and getting better canNOT mingle loosely with those who are unwell, especially if they don't know it. That's the most dangerous position to be in. The well mingle together to build immunity, and the unwell mingle together in their sickness. If you are very aware, you can pick up traits and characteristics and others that are unwell and decide how you will keep yourself immune from catching any undesired vices from them. Limited contact? Hazard suit? Oxygen mask? Gloved hands? Slow speech? Just kidding...kind of.
Be prepared to stand alone. You are the exception, not the rule. The rule of the world is to jump in the swirling downward spiral of devastation and destruction. Choosing to go out of the way and off the path to find some sure footing is going to take you away from where everyone else is, maybe for quite a while and maybe for ever. Reach them with your prayers, your well-wishes, your cards, your Skypes, and positive thoughts. Learn to separate the action from the person; correct the action and love the person. And never give up your journey to wellness. It's the least you can do to love the only you we have.
Monica
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