I feel like I keep writing the same thing over and over again, possibly because I'm thinking the same things over and over again. The same thoughts and questions about existence, God, spirituality, raising children, being a good partner, what to expect from my partner, how to resist being unhealthy in mind and body...these thoughts pervade my mind constantly, and I never know if I find acceptable answers to them, or find peace about them.
Take the first three for example: If everyone has a thought about What Is, about Who Is, and about inevitable death and the afterlife, the question remains as to who is right? But my question has been, does it really matter who is right? We all end up at Death's door in the end, and we will all have to pass from this life to another, where we don't really know what will happen from experience. After our spirit passes, we will all find out one way or another, but we won't be able to share that with those who are still on this side of life. Doesn't that make one wonder? Doesn't that make one hope? Doesn't that make one feel afraid to some extent, of the not knowing for sure? And God? We all have an idea of Who or What God is, some teachings that we hold to dearly, and that idea and those teachings has a very special and personal meaning to all of us. At some point, we may journey in this area, and try to find out what new meaning it holds for us. This is simply what is, not something that can be judged as being right or wrong. We may wonder if everything we ever believed without doubt was really faultless, was really true, was really the right way. We may wonder how to survive without it if we choose to respect where we currently reside in our faiths, which may be in the middle of nowhere. We may wonder how anyone ever makes it without the hope that we had, and how we can survive if we choose to pursue another Way or another Truth, without having the security blanket of the faith we cast aside. We may receive such an enlightenment that it frightens us and turns others against us because we gently pervade their firm truths with suggestions of our own that don't line up. Do we all deserve to have respect for our own Truths? Shouldn't we?
Raising children is heartbreaking sometimes. At times, your frustration and anger are simply let go, and your wrath produces tears and heartache and guilt and shame. And then you correct yourself, and try again. We should always try again as parents, and as children, to show our loved ones that we are imperfectly human but that we really do care and we really do love. Love is ageless and timeless. Trying to be better is a never-ending pursuit for our consciences, our spirits, our hearts, and for our peace.
When you really have lost all control, and don't really know what's going on, you find a panic and a peace; a peace that you really are at the mercy of the Great Plan, whatever it is and however you accept it to be, and you find out that so many others are in that whirlwind of chaos with you, and you feel that you are not alone and you know somehow you will come out of it on the other side more refined and a much wiser person. That gives some kind of peace. What reason is there for existence if there is no hope? When we look around and see fighting, wars, killings, mutilations, gender divides, partner splits, discrimination, loathing and seething anger for those with differences, sanctimonious displays of greatness and achievement, and people who simply have lost the mental capacity to love children and protect them, the sadness that produces for me is indescribable. One of my favorite verses from the Scriptures mentions that "these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love, but the greatest of these is Love."
If we love the best that we can, that is a good start. I am trying to learn how to love unconditionally. This is what our world needs, what our children need, and what I need, spiritually.
So, with Love,
Monica
Take the first three for example: If everyone has a thought about What Is, about Who Is, and about inevitable death and the afterlife, the question remains as to who is right? But my question has been, does it really matter who is right? We all end up at Death's door in the end, and we will all have to pass from this life to another, where we don't really know what will happen from experience. After our spirit passes, we will all find out one way or another, but we won't be able to share that with those who are still on this side of life. Doesn't that make one wonder? Doesn't that make one hope? Doesn't that make one feel afraid to some extent, of the not knowing for sure? And God? We all have an idea of Who or What God is, some teachings that we hold to dearly, and that idea and those teachings has a very special and personal meaning to all of us. At some point, we may journey in this area, and try to find out what new meaning it holds for us. This is simply what is, not something that can be judged as being right or wrong. We may wonder if everything we ever believed without doubt was really faultless, was really true, was really the right way. We may wonder how to survive without it if we choose to respect where we currently reside in our faiths, which may be in the middle of nowhere. We may wonder how anyone ever makes it without the hope that we had, and how we can survive if we choose to pursue another Way or another Truth, without having the security blanket of the faith we cast aside. We may receive such an enlightenment that it frightens us and turns others against us because we gently pervade their firm truths with suggestions of our own that don't line up. Do we all deserve to have respect for our own Truths? Shouldn't we?
Raising children is heartbreaking sometimes. At times, your frustration and anger are simply let go, and your wrath produces tears and heartache and guilt and shame. And then you correct yourself, and try again. We should always try again as parents, and as children, to show our loved ones that we are imperfectly human but that we really do care and we really do love. Love is ageless and timeless. Trying to be better is a never-ending pursuit for our consciences, our spirits, our hearts, and for our peace.
When you really have lost all control, and don't really know what's going on, you find a panic and a peace; a peace that you really are at the mercy of the Great Plan, whatever it is and however you accept it to be, and you find out that so many others are in that whirlwind of chaos with you, and you feel that you are not alone and you know somehow you will come out of it on the other side more refined and a much wiser person. That gives some kind of peace. What reason is there for existence if there is no hope? When we look around and see fighting, wars, killings, mutilations, gender divides, partner splits, discrimination, loathing and seething anger for those with differences, sanctimonious displays of greatness and achievement, and people who simply have lost the mental capacity to love children and protect them, the sadness that produces for me is indescribable. One of my favorite verses from the Scriptures mentions that "these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love, but the greatest of these is Love."
If we love the best that we can, that is a good start. I am trying to learn how to love unconditionally. This is what our world needs, what our children need, and what I need, spiritually.
So, with Love,
Monica
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