Skip to main content

The Healing Journal, Post 3

A healing journal can be whatever you need it to be.
For me, I need a place to share some of my soul.
This journal takes place in Lansing and Kalamazoo, MI.
I am not afraid to heal.

It's like being chased
Sooner than later it's going to catch up with you
And if it doesn't kill you, the running will.

It's like taking medicine to solve your tummyache
And it won't stay down
And you know the tummyache's gonna come back, over and over.

It's like staring at your reflection
And you make a face
Yet your reflection doesn't move
You walk away and it stays behind, still staring at where you were.

It's like screaming and kicking and scratching at flesh
And biting and growling and howling till hoarse
While your mouth smiles and your eyes brighten
Talking to someone you like

It's like an insurmountable rage
Surly and intensifying
Crawling up your throat, which tightens uncomfortably
And escapes as a tear or two

That's what my pain looks like
And I'm not afraid
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What I Wish I Would've Done

Everyone handles grief differently. I would say I hold it at a distance, tolerating it in small spurts. My Great-Grandmother Donna Langdon died recently. Although I only knew her for a short time (being reunited 6-7 years ago after being adopted), I find myself missing her. I handle death in a very meticulous way. First, I being to tell myself that it will soon happen, sometimes preparing many, many years in advance. I have done this with my grandparents, and I did this with my great-grandmother. Some people say they "don't think about it," but I'm the opposite...I understand it as a normal part of life, I forewarn myself of it's pending coming, and gently remind myself every so often so I can figure out the best way for me to handle the situation. This may seem morbid to you, or insensitive even. Truth is, if I don't think about it, plan on it, I'm not sure how my grief process would end up. For me, death is the ultimate separation in this life. I...
6 comments
Read more

White or Black? Choose ONE.

After a long hiatus from blogging, I was finally inspired to pick up my virtual "pen" and write after reading, crying, and being inspired by an article in the May issue of Ebony magazine. Catapulted in part by the remarks by Halle Berry in a past issue of Ebony regarding her view on her daughter's race, this issue is chock-full of articles regarding mixed persons' views of themselves, their families, their mixed-raced children, and what they regard themselves as racially. The crying ensued as relief-that I am not alone, that others feel as I do, that I can share my feelings without the fear of judgement. That I can be honest about who I see myself as. Because this is about ME, not about others' feelings or perceptions of me. Not about what is "politically correct" regarding my raceor allowing society to push me into a "neat little box" of either Black or White. As an adoptee, my Black parents always made sure I knew what I was mixed with, b...
6 comments
Read more

The Happy Files, Ch. 1

Chapter One The Happy Files is an online journal regarding my feelings, ideas, and realizations before, during, and after reading the book, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. You can check her blog out at www.happiness-project.com . Let's jump right in, shall we? In the foreword of her book, Gretchen defines a happiness project as "an approach to changing your life." She then continues on to define three stages of this project. First, there is a preparation stage, where one identifies what makes them happy and what makes them unhappy. Second one must make resolutions based on the principal understandings of their happy/unhappy findings that will strive towards boosting their state of happy. Lastly, and the hardest of any part of making a resolution or commitment to anything or anyone, is the challenging task of keeping those promises to yourself and choices of change. Might I add, in my own opinion, although a happiness project is indeed a solo project where...
2 comments
Read more