Turning 25 freaked me out, mostly because I felt as if I was approaching a huge deadline...the "I'm now old" deadline. I felt old, unaccomplished, broke, and without direction. I felt that if I didn't get ahold of my visions and shake them until they scattered out pieces of my dreams I was going to turn grey the next day, and possibly die the day after that. I felt panicked, as if life was suddenly moving too fast for my comfort.
But what I've learned during this year has been so worthwhile I felt compelled to share with you just what this year has brought me so far(granted, I've only been 25 for 3 months, barely!). I've learned:
1. How to keep loving myself
After having two kids, a softer belly, more stretch marks than I cared for, and acne that suddenly wouldn't go away, I felt more at peace with my body than ever before. I started being more aware of how the way I dressed sent a message across about how I felt about myself. Reading "What to Wear For the Rest of Your Life" by Kim Johnson Gross sent such a reviving and refreshing vision of clothing and caring for my body that I will never forget. And as long as we're on the subject of clothing (which costs money!), I've learned to....
2. Save money!
My husband and I challenged ourselves to take up the cross of financial health after reading Dave Ramsey's "The Money Makeover." With clear, simple, and logical directions it seemed crazy not to start turning our situation around and get serious about being good financial stewards of the money we were blessed to earn. This has included, for me, NO SERIOUS SHOPPING. I have not updated my wardrobe in a very long time because we are living below our means in order to save up a beginning emergency fund ($1000), and pay of all of our debts. I have calculated that by living below our means and dropping every extra penny towards extra payments, we should be completely debt free with a fully-funded emergency fund in about 2 years. A fully-funded emergency fund is 3-6 months of expenses. For us, that's roughly $10-11,000 that needs to be saved "just in case." The bottom line? Saving is hard and requires discipline! We're currently working hard at our goals, but eating out has been one setback for us....ok, for me! I really miss "stopping by" the stores on a free afternoon just to see what sales there are. Not only has NOT being an impulse buyer while on a budget kept my wardrobe/shoe/jewelry collection to a minimum, it makes me grateful that I really do have just what I need. And if I really NEED something, I usually have money to buy it...with CASH. We no longer carry credit cards of any kind, PTL!
3. Couponing
Okay, so although this falls under 'Save money', I had to list it separately b/c it is a hobby all on its own. It takes time and dedication to keep a coupon binder that holds coups for groceries, health/beauty, and household items. Moreover, it takes alertness to remember to actually USE them. We save on average $5-7 using only coupons on a shopping trip, which may not seem like much, but multiply that by 4 for the month, then by 12 for the year; it =$240-336 saved/yr! That's 2 extra car/loan/credit card payments/gas fill-ups/Christmas money/you-name-it for the year! Plus we have more than enough in our stockpile to last for a few months without buying anything like soap/shampoo/deoderant/detergent/softener/conditioner/toothbrushes/etc. It's just fun to save! And couponing is absolutely free!
4. How to Love My Husband
This is such an important thing to share for me. There were so many times as a newleywed where I doubted my ability to be "good at it." I felt my husband and already knew each other way to well, annoyed each other far too often, and had too much obstinance and temper between the two of us to actually succeed in our union as husband and wife. There were times when I wondered if I knew what the hell I was doing getting married! There where times when I was scared because of high divorce rates and 1-year marriage streaks. Finally, I prayed: 'God, please show me HOW to love my husband. Help me see him how You see him. Help me respect him, cherish him, and submit to him not how I see fit but how you see fit.' That prayer has changed my whole perspective on love and marriage. None of us are capable of making relationships work on our own. As humans, we simply give up!We feel we have probable cause to stop putting in work overtime because of what someone else ain't doing! Stand up and take hold of your end of the reins, and let's keep those divorce rates at bay! Only God can show us how to truly love one another, and I know in my heart He has given me a new love for my husband, and I admire him and think about how in love with him I am every day. I am glad I didn't take any easy ways out or rationalize why he didn't deserve me. If you think about it, marriages are made of two people who don't deserve each other but choose to love each other. That's what Christ does for us. Marriages are mirror images of Christ's relationship with us as individuals. I love you Shawn!
5. How to let go
I've learned to let go of thoughts and relationships that are unhealthy for me. Fantasies of the 'shoulda-woulda-coulda's' as well as regrets of ways that I've acted that are over and done with are demons I constantly fought against. With the help of my spiritualy journey, a good therapist, and a supportive husband and kids, I've learned how to just be a human. How to forgive myself. How to forgive others. And how to know that my job as a Christian woman is to treat others how I would want to be treated even if it means I WON'T receive the same treatment from those I love and admire. I can only be responsible for my actions, not others'. Learning this has been such a staple event in my ability to move forward and be happy.
I'm sure I've learned many other things along the way; I've definitely learned to thank God more and be much more grateful for my gifts, friends, family, and the things I believed I've been called to do. I've learned not to attach a paycheck to my calling (they sure don't teach you that in college!) and that a person and their intelligence is not measured by how much education they've received. You learn how to do things better by messing them up the first time, and you learn how NOT to act by observing hurtful actions done by those around you. I will always be a student in this life, and I pray that God sees how hard I try, that he knows the sincerity of my heart, and sees fit to bless me with multiple more years in which to seek Him and learn how to be Christ-like to others. What I have learned, my friends, is that I am blessed beyond belief, successful, and full of potential to bring my light and happiness to others in something as simple as a smile or a compliment. What have you learned so far?
But what I've learned during this year has been so worthwhile I felt compelled to share with you just what this year has brought me so far(granted, I've only been 25 for 3 months, barely!). I've learned:
1. How to keep loving myself
After having two kids, a softer belly, more stretch marks than I cared for, and acne that suddenly wouldn't go away, I felt more at peace with my body than ever before. I started being more aware of how the way I dressed sent a message across about how I felt about myself. Reading "What to Wear For the Rest of Your Life" by Kim Johnson Gross sent such a reviving and refreshing vision of clothing and caring for my body that I will never forget. And as long as we're on the subject of clothing (which costs money!), I've learned to....
2. Save money!
My husband and I challenged ourselves to take up the cross of financial health after reading Dave Ramsey's "The Money Makeover." With clear, simple, and logical directions it seemed crazy not to start turning our situation around and get serious about being good financial stewards of the money we were blessed to earn. This has included, for me, NO SERIOUS SHOPPING. I have not updated my wardrobe in a very long time because we are living below our means in order to save up a beginning emergency fund ($1000), and pay of all of our debts. I have calculated that by living below our means and dropping every extra penny towards extra payments, we should be completely debt free with a fully-funded emergency fund in about 2 years. A fully-funded emergency fund is 3-6 months of expenses. For us, that's roughly $10-11,000 that needs to be saved "just in case." The bottom line? Saving is hard and requires discipline! We're currently working hard at our goals, but eating out has been one setback for us....ok, for me! I really miss "stopping by" the stores on a free afternoon just to see what sales there are. Not only has NOT being an impulse buyer while on a budget kept my wardrobe/shoe/jewelry collection to a minimum, it makes me grateful that I really do have just what I need. And if I really NEED something, I usually have money to buy it...with CASH. We no longer carry credit cards of any kind, PTL!
3. Couponing
Okay, so although this falls under 'Save money', I had to list it separately b/c it is a hobby all on its own. It takes time and dedication to keep a coupon binder that holds coups for groceries, health/beauty, and household items. Moreover, it takes alertness to remember to actually USE them. We save on average $5-7 using only coupons on a shopping trip, which may not seem like much, but multiply that by 4 for the month, then by 12 for the year; it =$240-336 saved/yr! That's 2 extra car/loan/credit card payments/gas fill-ups/Christmas money/you-name-it for the year! Plus we have more than enough in our stockpile to last for a few months without buying anything like soap/shampoo/deoderant/detergent/softener/conditioner/toothbrushes/etc. It's just fun to save! And couponing is absolutely free!
4. How to Love My Husband
This is such an important thing to share for me. There were so many times as a newleywed where I doubted my ability to be "good at it." I felt my husband and already knew each other way to well, annoyed each other far too often, and had too much obstinance and temper between the two of us to actually succeed in our union as husband and wife. There were times when I wondered if I knew what the hell I was doing getting married! There where times when I was scared because of high divorce rates and 1-year marriage streaks. Finally, I prayed: 'God, please show me HOW to love my husband. Help me see him how You see him. Help me respect him, cherish him, and submit to him not how I see fit but how you see fit.' That prayer has changed my whole perspective on love and marriage. None of us are capable of making relationships work on our own. As humans, we simply give up!We feel we have probable cause to stop putting in work overtime because of what someone else ain't doing! Stand up and take hold of your end of the reins, and let's keep those divorce rates at bay! Only God can show us how to truly love one another, and I know in my heart He has given me a new love for my husband, and I admire him and think about how in love with him I am every day. I am glad I didn't take any easy ways out or rationalize why he didn't deserve me. If you think about it, marriages are made of two people who don't deserve each other but choose to love each other. That's what Christ does for us. Marriages are mirror images of Christ's relationship with us as individuals. I love you Shawn!
5. How to let go
I've learned to let go of thoughts and relationships that are unhealthy for me. Fantasies of the 'shoulda-woulda-coulda's' as well as regrets of ways that I've acted that are over and done with are demons I constantly fought against. With the help of my spiritualy journey, a good therapist, and a supportive husband and kids, I've learned how to just be a human. How to forgive myself. How to forgive others. And how to know that my job as a Christian woman is to treat others how I would want to be treated even if it means I WON'T receive the same treatment from those I love and admire. I can only be responsible for my actions, not others'. Learning this has been such a staple event in my ability to move forward and be happy.
I'm sure I've learned many other things along the way; I've definitely learned to thank God more and be much more grateful for my gifts, friends, family, and the things I believed I've been called to do. I've learned not to attach a paycheck to my calling (they sure don't teach you that in college!) and that a person and their intelligence is not measured by how much education they've received. You learn how to do things better by messing them up the first time, and you learn how NOT to act by observing hurtful actions done by those around you. I will always be a student in this life, and I pray that God sees how hard I try, that he knows the sincerity of my heart, and sees fit to bless me with multiple more years in which to seek Him and learn how to be Christ-like to others. What I have learned, my friends, is that I am blessed beyond belief, successful, and full of potential to bring my light and happiness to others in something as simple as a smile or a compliment. What have you learned so far?
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