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Showing posts from December, 2012

The Healing Journal, Post 4

A healing journal can be whatever you need it to be. For me, I need a place to share some of my soul. This journal takes place in Lansing and Kalamazoo, MI. I am not afraid to heal. There is no filter on this post, because my best work comes from a truly awesome and terrifying place. No cliches here, just me unexposed and in the raw. Because I'm not afraid. I have a cousin who I didn't know too well growing up, because she was older. I called her "Cousin Fran" because I was taught to give titles to adults, even family member adults. She was always sweet to me, and I was the flower girl in her wedding. I remember I got to wear lipstick, and my cousin kissed me to transfer some of her excess lipstick onto my lips. I felt like a goddess the rest of the day. This same cousin now has breast cancer. She is going to write a book soon. What will it be about? I don't know, but I know it will be real and raw and unafraid. I wrote on her Facebook the words "No

The Healing Journal, Post 3

A healing journal can be whatever you need it to be. For me, I need a place to share some of my soul. This journal takes place in Lansing and Kalamazoo, MI. I am not afraid to heal. It's like being chased Sooner than later it's going to catch up with you And if it doesn't kill you, the running will. It's like taking medicine to solve your tummyache And it won't stay down And you know the tummyache's gonna come back, over and over. It's like staring at your reflection And you make a face Yet your reflection doesn't move You walk away and it stays behind, still staring at where you were. It's like screaming and kicking and scratching at flesh And biting and growling and howling till hoarse While your mouth smiles and your eyes brighten Talking to someone you like It's like an insurmountable rage Surly and intensifying Crawling up your throat, which tightens uncomfortably And escapes as a tear or two That's what my p

The Healing Journal, Post 2

A healing journal can be whatever you need it to be. For me, I need a place to share some of my soul. This journal takes place in Lansing and Kalamazoo, MI. I am not afraid to heal. Sometimes having a physical place to go isn't enough. Remember all the stories about ghosts and the paranormal you've heard? The lore is that when a spirit doesn't know it needs to "pass over" it will continually try to find it's place among us, the living, wreaking havoc because it is tormented not knowing where it belongs or what happened to it. I felt the same way. I had couches and rooms from which to sleep, refrigerators from which to eat, faces at which to look but couldn't find my resting place. I felt like I was blocked by an impermeable glass wall. People's thoughts and feelings were muffled. I felt like I heard one thing and saw another. People were dropping away from me as if I carried an incredible stench. I knew it was because of my ghost, of what I repres

The Healing Journal, Post 1

A healing journal can be whatever you need it to be. For me, I need a place to share some of my soul. This journal takes place in Lansing and Kalamazoo, MI. I am not afraid to heal. In September 2012, I began an awesome adventure. I decided that I had received a divinely orchestrated opportunity to study under the worship team/ministry/group at Mt. Hope Church in Lansing, MI. As a young girl, I had visited this church because I had some family who attended, and we would go to Christmas, Easter, and Halloween/luia events there. I particularly remembered being a young girl walking down the hall of that building, feeling the something that was there; it was a feeling of something mysterious and unseen, a strong presence that lifted my spirit. I had never felt that feeling at my own church or anywhere else. I had seen other people who seemed like maybe they felt it, but I didn't. I knew that church was a special place. Fast forward many years later to adulthood, and there I w