Chapter 2   On Thursday March 17, 2011, I checked myself into the emergency room at Sparrow Hospital in Lansing, MI. The diagnosis was depression resulting in the inability to repress such overwhelming emotions that made me fear hurting myself or others. At the time I was very ashamed, embarrassed, and afraid. I've always considered myself to be highly intelligent, socially graceful, talented, and possessing the skills and motivation to be successful. But the truth is I was driving myself literally towards mental instability by not confronting my past and floating on "life preservers" that provided a cover for happiness but never let me fully indulge in the essence of it. I was hanging on by a shredding thread of faith and hope, and a nasty argument with my husband snipped the middle. My emotions numbed, my body only moving because I forced it, I cried for help. I participated in a week-long partial hospitalization program, packed with 6 hours of daily group therapy, nu

Chapter One The Happy Files is an online journal regarding my feelings, ideas, and realizations before, during, and after reading the book, The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. You can check her blog out at www.happiness-project.com . Let's jump right in, shall we? In the foreword of her book, Gretchen defines a happiness project as "an approach to changing your life." She then continues on to define three stages of this project. First, there is a preparation stage, where one identifies what makes them happy and what makes them unhappy. Second one must make resolutions based on the principal understandings of their happy/unhappy findings that will strive towards boosting their state of happy. Lastly, and the hardest of any part of making a resolution or commitment to anything or anyone, is the challenging task of keeping those promises to yourself and choices of change. Might I add, in my own opinion, although a happiness project is indeed a solo project where

Today I gave away hugs to students I may never see again face to face, or at least for quite a while. It always incurs an emotional reaction, although my face may be smiling. I feel choked emotion lodged in my throat, and the only thing that can help me move past the moment is embracing it, understanding it, and accepting myself just as I am at that moment (a commandment of Gretchen Rubin, author of "The Happiness Project"). Why the big deal? People come and go all the time, why the extra stress regarding people who I don't even know that well personally, or at least hang out with on a weekly or monthly basis? Well, all I can do is tie it to my experience as a two-year-old. Now, I am telling this as it was told to me, as there is no way in the world I can accurately remember this. And although it is sad, I am no longer a victim of this situation, which is why I can learn from it and continue to move through my journey in life. As many of you know, I am adopted. When I

After a long hiatus from blogging, I was finally inspired to pick up my virtual "pen" and write after reading, crying, and being inspired by an article in the May issue of Ebony magazine. Catapulted in part by the remarks by Halle Berry in a past issue of Ebony regarding her view on her daughter's race, this issue is chock-full of articles regarding mixed persons' views of themselves, their families, their mixed-raced children, and what they regard themselves as racially. The crying ensued as relief-that I am not alone, that others feel as I do, that I can share my feelings without the fear of judgement. That I can be honest about who I see myself as. Because this is about ME, not about others' feelings or perceptions of me. Not about what is "politically correct" regarding my raceor allowing society to push me into a "neat little box" of either Black or White. As an adoptee, my Black parents always made sure I knew what I was mixed with, b